have u guys met meditation mike yet? he is the director of marketing

have u guys met meditation mike yet? he is the director of marketing

#yesalldrapists

#yesalldrapists

Happy Whacking!

Happy Whacking!

Jim Steinman wrote all the hits for meatloaf. He seems like a smart and talented guy but he wears the stupidest outfits. Which I guess makes him better.

Jim Steinman wrote all the hits for meatloaf. He seems like a smart and talented guy but he wears the stupidest outfits. Which I guess makes him better.

Producing a great show tonight… y’all should come.
Showcasey Jones — Adult show & tell comedy show is back! Saturday, September 20th at 8pm at OVER THE EIGHT in Williamsburg. $freeBring your weird family photos, show us how many flips you can do in a row, showoff the tattoo your uncle gave you at last year’s family retreat! Anything crazy, cooky, strange or insane… and the best of the best will win $25 cash and bragging rights as one of the weirdest people in NYC! Last week’s winner brought a jar filled with cat parts - and he went head-to-head with a couple guys who modified a baby doll to smoke from a bong. Play for a chance to win drink tickets, odd prizes, $25 cash and the glory of being one of the weirdest people in NYC!Plus, live stand up comedy from some of NYC’s best - Lukas Kaiser, Merrill Davis, Ian Fidance, Nimesh Patel, Jimmy LeChase & John F. O’Donnell !!Hosted by Lizzie Martinez & Toby Scales!Over The Eight - 594 Union Ave, Brooklyn, NY

Producing a great show tonight… y’all should come.

Showcasey Jones — Adult show & tell comedy show is back! Saturday, September 20th at 8pm at OVER THE EIGHT in Williamsburg. 

$free
Bring your weird family photos, show us how many flips you can do in a row, showoff the tattoo your uncle gave you at last year’s family retreat! Anything crazy, cooky, strange or insane… and the best of the best will win $25 cash and bragging rights as one of the weirdest people in NYC! Last week’s winner brought a jar filled with cat parts - and he went head-to-head with a couple guys who modified a baby doll to smoke from a bong. 

Play for a chance to win drink tickets, odd prizes, $25 cash and the glory of being one of the weirdest people in NYC!

Plus, live stand up comedy from some of NYC’s best - Lukas Kaiser, Merrill Davis, Ian Fidance, Nimesh Patel, Jimmy LeChase & John F. O’Donnell !!

Hosted by Lizzie Martinez & Toby Scales!

Over The Eight - 594 Union Ave, Brooklyn, NY

Famous Jazz Musicians from New Orleans

-Derrick “Sad Man” Manfroro
-Bill “Dollar Bill” Dollars
-Zach “White Guy” Kleinman
-Drew “No Nickname” Dowling
-Peter “Penis” Dick
-Greg “Gay Greg” Simmons
-Stevie “Short Dick” Palmer
-Stevie “Stevie Number Two” Hart
-Retard “Bad Name” Poopmonster
-Xander “Probably an Alien creature” Glorborg

JUST GOT FIRED - A short story

(Author’s note - my attempt with this short story was to achieve authenticity while crafting characters born in the UK. You can be the judge of my success).

Tim was sitting in his flat in London, writing down a list of his favorite jelly beans, when the call came in. 

"Oi, ‘oi donna neh ya na’ lah’gert, ma’la." The news hit him like a metric ton of bricks. 

"Bah wah bou aha ye top mah la wee?" he said back, hoping amongst his deepest and most british hopes that perhaps this water treading could turn into a full-bore swim.

"Wa shan na tol ya dah. Twasn’t ta reet tang tasha toah tol yaes." Those words - "Wa shan na tol ya dah." They bounced back and forth in his brain enough times to have crossed the English channel 45 times and back. 

"Awrite." Tim’s voice paused for what felt like ages. "Jolly O, gahbay ol chap." Click. Tim’s depression began to sink in. It was like a bag of English Breakfast tea seeping into the cauldron of brewing anxieties that was his head. 

"Aye bluetay fuck’ald now, aynt aye?" he said to no one in particular. He had really bad teeth because he was British, also.

THE END

The Cops

Every time the police end up killing a suspect, I always hear people chime up with “occupational hazard.” That’s preposterous. It’s their job to STOP people from killing and the occupational hazard is them doing the thing they’re tasked with stopping?

Can you imagine the opposite? If hit men accidentally saved a bunch of people they were supposed to kill? Sorry, I know I was supposed to kill all these Bloods, but I ended up saving them from a burning building. Occupational hazard.

Those guys would totally be asked to resign from the Crips! Makes you think.

"The Aviator Swag!" yelled the doorman across the street.

"The Aviator Swag!" yelled the doorman across the street.

welcome to my living room

welcome to my living room